Marian Mills

Fear, the inside rejection job. Each fear I have uncovered and transformed has been entirely of my own making. It's as though I've given that fear to a part of myself to deal with, then rejected that part. So I have an angry part, which is one I don't hear from very often, probably because I've gagged it and buried it in a dungeon! But I know it's there because occasionally it gets to show it's face and act out in the world. And I have a part that is terrified of rejection. This part helped me to see the world in terms of that emotion. I was forever assuming that it was other people who were rejecting me, but mostly, I now see that I was rejecting myself before anyone else had a chance to, just to escape the fear and the pain.

Gradually transforming these fears is the work of becoming whole once again. I believe this is what Jung refers to as the Shadow self; the parts of us we are not conscious of, who have been given jobs to do to help us avoid pain. Pain like guilt, anger, sadness, rejection, abandonment. And, most tragically, almost all of these shadow parts are young children. Children I've left in the dark when I disowned them and made them 'not me'. They've all got a job to do, which is to protect me. So, as I transform those fears and rescue those children from their jobs, I can become whole again as the divine being I truly am, no longer fragmented.

Perhaps this is the process of welcoming the children into heaven.

"Let the little children come to Me,
and do not forbid them;
for of such is the kingdom of heaven."
Matthew 19:13-14 New King James Version

If you're feeling downtrodden or depressed about the state of the planet and despairing of individuals or politicians to do anything about it all, watch this short video and learn about the millions of people already dedicated to the transformation of our planet, in addition to the amazing breadth and number of transformational organizations in our world.

Paul Hawken, Blessed Unrest and WiserEarth

WOW!

We really are the ones we've been waiting for

I've been aware for a little while now of my need to transform the 'dark' places inside myself, the disowned parts, the guilty parts, the angry parts, and all those other uncomfortable but very real feelings that I've pushed aside throughout my life. But I have felt awkward and self-conscious about this as well as feeling guilty for focusing on myself so much. After all, that's being selfish, isn't it, and we all know that's bad!! So it was with much relief and gratitude that I read the following paragraph from The Transformation Team's Lesson 20 which I'd like to share for anyone else who may be doubting the importance of their own personal transformation at this time.

"We are all here to learn from and love each other. By welcoming back these lost parts of ourselves – these parts of ourselves we have long judged, blamed, and avoided – we not only allow for deep healing, we promote a deep transformation of the collective consciousness of all humanity towards the recognition of all people as divine beings capable of powerfully spreading love around the planet."

Let's go for it! When the tide comes in, all ships rise together.

I've definitely regarded turning away from one's truth as a 'bad' thing'. However, I have also realised that, by doing so myself, I have somehow protected it in all its pristine glory - like a perfect crystal. I wasn't ready to own it when I was so young, and my journey back to it has been so necessary. I have learned so much and met many wonderful people as guides, teachers, mentors and friends, all of whom I feel so blessed to have known and still know.

As a friend showed me earlier today, if you take a chick that is beginning to hatch and break open the shell to help it out, it perishes. We all need to peck our own way out of our shells in our own time. I've just spent the past 5 years consciously and deliberately pecking away, but before that, I was still a 'hatchling in progress'. By hiding my truth, even from myself, and thus preserving it, means that I can now reclaim it in its pure essence, undistorted by others who would deny it or feel afraid of it.

There is no 'better' way than our own way, discovered moment by moment.

Today is a big day for me. It is the day when I begin to forgive myself for breaking my own heart by creating separation. I have lived all my life so far seeing rejection and separation around me, not understanding that this was just a reflection of the separation within myself. Something happened when I was about 5 years old that convinced me that the way forward in life was to make other people happy. So I put aside my need to be true to myself. At 44 years of age, this has brought me to an almost hermit-like existence. This blog represents my need to recover the ability to speak my truth.

So I need to love myself first so that I can then love others and demonstrate that love through action.

For those who do EFT:
"Even though I broke my own heart when I stopped being true to myself, I deeply love , accept and forgive myself"
"Even though I feel guilty that I'm not doing what others want, I choose recognise that I am the most important person in my life"

There are many projects ongoing in the world at the moment to bring Oneness back into people's lives. Here's a useful page of links: Oneness Project

Many people are exploring and releasing their blocks to abundance thanks to films like The Secret and books about The Law of Attraction. EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) and the Law of Attraction make a powerful combination. To read my amazing story of unblocking abundance using EFT click the link below

An Adventure in the Palace of Possibilities

I've been working my way through an exciting free online course at the Transformation Team. It is for those who can answer yes to the following questions. It is packed with information and helpful tips for transforming ourselves and bringing that transformation into the world. We are all One - we are all in this adventure together and it is up to each and every one of us to transform.

	Have you ever felt that one of the main reasons you are here now is to help transform our planet to a new way of living based on love and empowerment?
	Do you recognize that there is a divine essence in every person on this planet, and that as beautiful manifestations of the divine, all people deserve our love and support to be the best they can be?
	Are you committed to move beyond old ways which focused on negative judgment and separation and to instead choose greater connection and love for yourself and everyone around you?
	Are you open to exploring the deep hidden agendas affecting our planet? Are you willing to work on transforming your own weaknesses and fears? Are you willing to consider seeing fear as an invitation to spiritual growth?
	Are you interested in being part of a large team of souls who know that we came here specifically to help ourselves and all who are ready on this planet to transform to a deeper, richer way of living in this eternal sacred moment?

To transform the world,
we must begin with ourselves;
and what is important in beginning
with ourselves is the intention.
The intention must be to understand ourselves,
not to leave it to others to transform themselves ...
This is our responsibility, yours and mine;
because, however small may be the world we live in,
if we can bring about a radically different
point of view in our daily existence,
then perhaps we shall affect
the world at large.

J Krishnamurti
"Self Knowledge"
from "The First and Last Freedom"