Marian Mills

Do you ask the Universe to provide you with things? Maybe ask for insight or help from guides, or the angels, or St whoever? If you do, are you aware how much of your own truly divine power you are giving away?

You are the Universal power.
You are the guides and angels and saints.

It is all there inside of you - you lack nothing. Get out of your own way and try some of the following ideas.

Here's a wonderful way to work with this with EFT:
"Even though I don't know what to do, I send myself some wonderful insights"
"Even though I can't see the way forwards, I send myself some grand ideas"
"Even though I can't see how to manage, I send myself some fabulous inspiration"

(with love and thanks to George for this powerful idea)

Some important insights came together for me last week.
Firstly a close friend mentioned being in a constant state of "fear thinking" which thus attracts even more fear. I recognise this in myself, as I am often focused on what has gone wrong and what might happen rather than anything positive.

Secondly, I decided to return to Louise Hay's books "You Can Heal Your Life", and whilst dipping into various pages, I read how she uses daily affirmations. These affirm how wonderful her life is each and every day, and in the evening she gives thanks for her day. I felt an immediate resonance with this, and realised the power that having an affirmation can be. It had felt wonderfully anchoring and stabilising when I was focusing on the abundance affirmation earlier this year, but I hadn't quite been able to find any affirmations to hang onto after that one that had the same power.

So I sat and wrote a list of about 7 wonderful affirmations for a good life:-

My life is balanced and I feel centred and grounded at all times

I am grateful for the ability to choose the most loving way to use my time and energy

I trust that everything is lovingly as it needs to be for my highest good

At the end, I sat back and realised that I do already have all these things - I just hadn't been 'tuned in' to seeing them, let alone appreciating them. Well, almost all. And what I haven't got yet won't be long in coming. These affirmations have helped me to come through an exhausting week, able to feel the exhaustion, yet also be aware that everything is really fundamentally absolutely wonderful.

It is as though, for the first time in my life, I have changed "I can't" into "I can" as a daily way of being.

So what are you not appreciating that is wonderful in your life every single day?

I'd like to share an idea that came to me a little while ago, whilst considering my own upbringing and how love was something that literally "went without saying" in the family - or at least, that's how it appeared!

It seems as though we come into this world looking for love to be delivered in a certain format, but it comes in unrecognizable forms, so we throw it away. It's like having a round hole as your love receptacle, but only being given square pegs. Because they don't fit, you throw them away, and grow up feeling unloved. Or another analogy is to go into your local greengrocers and demand that they provide you with a pound of lean beef steak. You stand in there for a very long time, throwing tantrums, shouting at the poor shopkeeper, using tears, pleading, bargaining, threats .... but you just don't ever get your pound of lean beef steak!

The good news is, though, that all those square pegs we so casually threw away, because they didn't fit our round hole, can be gathered up and re-fashioned. I give thanks to the person who created a beautiful image of a lovely jade round column formed out of all the discarded square pegs. In this way we can begin to heal the hurts, feel fulfilled, and know that we always have been loved.

I just love this idea of being able to accept our own flawed brilliance, from Claudette Rowley.

"There is a definition of self-acceptance that I've embraced lately: Flawed brilliance. Think about it. We are each brilliant AND flawed in our own unique ways. Developing a greater understanding of the depth and breadth of your brilliance, while accepting your flaws with grace, will lead not only to a fuller understanding of yourself, but also to a deeper acceptance."

Read the full article here

I had a Human Design reading 9 months ago - I wonder whether that time period is significant as a gestation period? - and it has helped me enormously in understanding myself and others. However, I think I have only just really got to the root of it.

If we accept that we all choose to come here and incarnate, with a specific purpose in life, then the obvious thing for an all-powerful divine being to do would be to create the perfect vehicle for fulfilling that purpose. If you want to stand a good chance at winning the Grand Prix, you build a super racing car, not a mini! So within our Human Design (or astrology chart) is encoded our life purpose. When we look at what the vehicle (this human body) is designed to do, we can derive the purpose for which it was created.

For me, this is to be who I am. Nothing more complicated than that. I was born to be creatively different from everyone else.

But oh how I have longed to 'fit in', be like everyone else, 'do' something that will earn approval, hidden my fear of being seen to be different and therefore rejected. This 'not good enough' fear could have been written through my body, like the words in a seaside stick of rock. And that fear has kept me focused on my faults and driven me to continually improve, hoping one day to reach the state of grace whereby I become completely acceptable to everyone! As I write it, I can see how ridiculous this really is, but of course, I couldn't see the wood for all the trees.

The powerful combination of EFT and Human Design has enabled me to transform these fears and realise that fear has kept me focused on my faults and finding ever more ways to 'improve' myself. Fear had me driving myself harder and harder to transform; there was always another issue to work on that meant I wasn't yet 'good enough', and I constantly pulled the roof down on my head in my struggle to escape the fear. But paradoxically, all that transformation work has now enabled me to see more clearly that it has been fear in the driving seat all along, and, most importantly, how I can choose to see things differently from now on.

"Even though I've always believed I was not good enough
I now choose to joyfully and lovingly be all that I truly am"

Fear, the inside rejection job. Each fear I have uncovered and transformed has been entirely of my own making. It's as though I've given that fear to a part of myself to deal with, then rejected that part. So I have an angry part, which is one I don't hear from very often, probably because I've gagged it and buried it in a dungeon! But I know it's there because occasionally it gets to show it's face and act out in the world. And I have a part that is terrified of rejection. This part helped me to see the world in terms of that emotion. I was forever assuming that it was other people who were rejecting me, but mostly, I now see that I was rejecting myself before anyone else had a chance to, just to escape the fear and the pain.

Gradually transforming these fears is the work of becoming whole once again. I believe this is what Jung refers to as the Shadow self; the parts of us we are not conscious of, who have been given jobs to do to help us avoid pain. Pain like guilt, anger, sadness, rejection, abandonment. And, most tragically, almost all of these shadow parts are young children. Children I've left in the dark when I disowned them and made them 'not me'. They've all got a job to do, which is to protect me. So, as I transform those fears and rescue those children from their jobs, I can become whole again as the divine being I truly am, no longer fragmented.

Perhaps this is the process of welcoming the children into heaven.

"Let the little children come to Me,
and do not forbid them;
for of such is the kingdom of heaven."
Matthew 19:13-14 New King James Version

If you're feeling downtrodden or depressed about the state of the planet and despairing of individuals or politicians to do anything about it all, watch this short video and learn about the millions of people already dedicated to the transformation of our planet, in addition to the amazing breadth and number of transformational organizations in our world.

Paul Hawken, Blessed Unrest and WiserEarth

WOW!

We really are the ones we've been waiting for

I've been aware for a little while now of my need to transform the 'dark' places inside myself, the disowned parts, the guilty parts, the angry parts, and all those other uncomfortable but very real feelings that I've pushed aside throughout my life. But I have felt awkward and self-conscious about this as well as feeling guilty for focusing on myself so much. After all, that's being selfish, isn't it, and we all know that's bad!! So it was with much relief and gratitude that I read the following paragraph from The Transformation Team's Lesson 20 which I'd like to share for anyone else who may be doubting the importance of their own personal transformation at this time.

"We are all here to learn from and love each other. By welcoming back these lost parts of ourselves – these parts of ourselves we have long judged, blamed, and avoided – we not only allow for deep healing, we promote a deep transformation of the collective consciousness of all humanity towards the recognition of all people as divine beings capable of powerfully spreading love around the planet."

Let's go for it! When the tide comes in, all ships rise together.

I've definitely regarded turning away from one's truth as a 'bad' thing'. However, I have also realised that, by doing so myself, I have somehow protected it in all its pristine glory - like a perfect crystal. I wasn't ready to own it when I was so young, and my journey back to it has been so necessary. I have learned so much and met many wonderful people as guides, teachers, mentors and friends, all of whom I feel so blessed to have known and still know.

As a friend showed me earlier today, if you take a chick that is beginning to hatch and break open the shell to help it out, it perishes. We all need to peck our own way out of our shells in our own time. I've just spent the past 5 years consciously and deliberately pecking away, but before that, I was still a 'hatchling in progress'. By hiding my truth, even from myself, and thus preserving it, means that I can now reclaim it in its pure essence, undistorted by others who would deny it or feel afraid of it.

There is no 'better' way than our own way, discovered moment by moment.